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April 2009 
This Comment to Enlightened Thinker Got too Long, Sooo...
Sharon
Hello My Friend,
I know I am one of the voices that fell off the cyberspace pages and into one of seeming silence. Yet, I have been reading posts from my email.
All along I was educating myself in hopes of making my cyber experiences more enjoyable like reading on what blogging is and is not, on what is a podcast, how to do this and that because I could not get my plans from my head through the keyboard, and all the "rules" of computer land" to work as I was intending.
Then, I got confused before I got it sorted out (always a possibility when you "dive into an unknown" territory). Ha ha... I understand more now, but, I can't honestly say my skills are improved. Drats!
I did get some powerful "Stuff" done, though, such as getting a non-profit set up, SELFGnosis classes started that are video-taped in anticipation of figuring out how to upload or use Skype/and webcams to have participants from anywhere able to participate and give feedback in future classes, and a book started.
This said, each time I've logged back onto this space, I noticed a different "feel" and I was not sure of what it meant; it wasn't especially comfortable, it was "strained" somehow and I respect such "red flags." I pay attention to such things with an open mind and heart and allow Spirit to guide my understanding of what I am sensing.
I can tell you, the Spirit of this site does not have the same sense it did with Zaadz, that is NOT "in your head." I've not been able to "nail" this shift-in-feel with words that make me comfortable with what I am noticing. It has had the effect of curbing my participation to one of a more observing stance, a "taking in" and allowing MAI Inward Spirit to clarify. I can be cautious when I sense a lack of clarity.
I am a very intense person of powerful inclinations and drive. I happened to be verging on a major shift when Zaadz shifted.
Maybe my unintended break with posting (I felt maybe a week or so, then I was aware a month or so, then, well, you catch my drift, eh?) was Spiritually intentional because the change was enough to make me feel like an observer to a community I was a participant in before. When I tried to post, they would get "lost on upload", a VERY disappointing experience, indeed!
I still don't know what the "seeds" are, or what 'tagging" is, or what the "My Gaia" page thing is about (I can't put anything meaningful on the page, it seems to be a space for superficial stuff as best I can tell, and as such is of no interest to me, and I don't feel in integrity having such nonsense "connected" to my space implying it is meaningful to me.), and the lack of comments does feel like a "dead zone" because it is not a sign of connecting - commenting was more alive with expression before and that is the essence of communication itself, the lifeblood of a community that I hear you lamenting about and hear you questioning what is behind this loss… I am wondering, too.
I sense you want to restore that communicating life, and so do I. It was what made Zaadz really welcoming and special…worth the extra cyber effort to participate in, but when there is not linking of minds via communication, where is the communion?
Communion is at the heart of communication and at the heart of Spirits united to initiate change. It feels less cohesive, that is a word that fits for me, and separative, more like a "tribe of 'lone wolves' staking territory" than a place of let's join forces and act in a uniting way…something more like this is decidedly part of the shift I notice. I arrived at this while posting in response to you…see how interaction is alive!?!
Initially, I wrote it off to my lack of computer savvy and my Right Brained structure/functioning. Computers are far more left brained friendly.
But, in reading your words, I knew you were feeling the same and struggling to understand it.
For me, upon returning, I felt the depth was not there in the same way. It had a lot of superficiality I never encountered with Zaadz. That made me reticent. I felt it was safe from the stand point of not being a lurid hunting ground for sexual predators, but rather, I noticed more of a "lets make money" feel that I did not find attractive. I've been spammed a few times from my Zaadz email and it is ONLY used on this site, soooo, ummm...that did raise my brow, and it should have, too, because mindlessness is not enlightened thinking!
I am about being, not "getting things; networking people into a functioning activity of co-creating change, not headhunting; laying axes at the heart or root of social problems, not picking apart the multudinous fruits thereof; working smart, not hard; organizing "like mind" into doing, not talking about it; coalescing resources to get a job done, not making 'raping profits'; and maybe I am about 10-20 years out-of-synch with the readiness of people get beyond talking and into the doing… I look to sites like this for more of that readiness in people NOW.
This is where this post starts and gets it motive and context, thus, CLICK THIS LINK & GO TO:
All to Love,
Sharon
Access: Public
Sharon:
Thank you for letting your voice be heard and for your take on this whole “feeling”…! WOW..it is not in my head then, eh? In fact I have not seen your icon light up here in a long time…and it is one that I remember being quite busy posting in my early days…you have nailed some of the feelings I have had and could not put a word on as well…
thank you thank you…
and bless you too…
Aley
Dear Sharon, I came to your blog through that link on Aley's . My initiial comment was so long; that I wanted to do link it too; and then, not wanting to lose the trend of thought, did not.
I do hear what you are all saying; perhaps I was here just for a shorter while during Zaadz; but I fell in love; did not like most of the changes; and blogged about it; posted in the Team's blogs, and after that initial gut/separeteness-ego reaction, stepped back, to get another perspective.
I went into healer mode; and here I am going to shoot my mouth off again, and say that we first ascend into spirituality, to get the experience of who we are; we leave behind those lower vibrations. But when we have ascended, the view changes; and at this point, unless we can expand into everything that we are/were/want to be we can fall into disarray.
That is why I prefer the healing =wholeness way of looking at things; as that helps me to stay connected, engaged, committed, and upbeat. It makes me feel that i can achieve whatever I want to, by my own actions.
I feel it is a deeply personal journey; yet as we are seeing, it is the journey of many. I have found great happiness in changing what I originally came to do–which was, to blog. As you, i rarely found even friends leaving comments; so I went out, and commented on their blogs. I found few coming to my pods, so I went out and tried to learn how to run them better.
I felt that many here, do not fully commit to community when they join GAia; so I made a group called Z-Networking. It was my baby; but when the day came [3 days back] when i realized that new entrants can get confused by the name, I changed it overnight [helped by two wonderful moderators who have joined me].
I feel this is a place to truly follow what JFK said [which many outside America are enthused by, I think!]; so, in this spirit, I would say: ask not what others can do for you/ don't do; ask what you can do to make it better.
That, to me, is what spirituality, community, and our work on earth is all about.
And I thank you providing a space for my terribly me-me-me post. That, too, I have learned, is what helps me to connect. To be anything that seems right at the moment; knowing that from a heart of compassion that healing helps us develop; we will not harm; thought we may disturb.
[even ourselves!]
Dear Meenakshi,
Thank you for reaching back and continuing to dialogue, for this is a most quintessential way for us to reconnect to the wholism of Who WEi are, keeping communication alive and meaningful.
I would like to better understand what you are saying. I've read your comment through several times and will sleep on it tonight for that is most always fruitful. I do not understand how to “fall into disarray” is possible when one is connected to the SELF that is ONEness itSELF —-
“But when… ascended,…at this point, unless we can expand into everything that we are/were/want to be we can fall into disarray.”
A great deal of the time, one could say I live in healing “mode”, or looking out and observing life with MAI Spirit eyes. MAI experience of “ascending” is that of coming HOME, and of piercing the heart of THE ONE, (Source, God, Brahma, Infinite Light& Love, et al) and in that at+onement, is the realization that there is only that which God IS and God can never fall into any disarray, only that which is separated from God can manifest non-God stuff.
I've discovered that God is NOT what I was taught God to be either. God IS as God IS irrespective of any beliefs. And, God IS much simpler than most beliefs would have us believe.
Seeing the disarray and confusion that is the collective state of HUmanity as it TRULY is in present time, requires courage as it is not a pleasant state of affairs and it is a far cry from being an upbeat experience. It is motivating!
Each morning, I am conscious that I chose to live another day with the sole purpose of being attuned to Divine Intention and being true to that without deviation, however that will unfold throughout the day.
I know why I am here, and that is pretty cool, but it is not without a certain angst at times; and it is to extend the TRUTH of our SOURCE and assist others to “COME HOME.” All else pales by comparison.
Calling “a spade a spade” really works for me. There has been an orientation point shift from Zaadz to Gaia. I have more affinity with the original intentions of Zaadz.
I do not gripe, I accept what is, I speak my insights, and it is vital to remaining sane, that I never don a pair of “rose colored glasses” in an attempt to cope with what is happening here, because, that is a sure way to find myself “falling down the rabbit hole.”
Stirring the pot is a good thing, it keeps the scum from burning at the bottom and maintains a mixture that can continue blending.
(MAI is “my” from the Spirit side looking outward while engaging life Inwardly, seeing through the dream or virtual life and recognizing that there is no separation. I use this spelling when I see both the ego and Spirit view at once and am not confused, rather, the paradox is reconciled, and the Indwelling Spirit recognition is the active perspective. This, is, essentially, I AM spelled in reverse, as a mirror reflection, which is the view of Spirit regarding this very reversed, separation as real universe.)
ATL, Sharon
Sharon, thank you for your thoughtful response. I ilke the words and concepts of both WEi and MAI
Perhaps thru this dialog, WEi can emerge!
————–
I-“ we first ascend into spirituality, to get the experience of who we are; we leave behind those lower vibrations.” [this is important to this next sentence that you quoted]–But when… ascended,…at this point, unless we can expand into everything that we are/were/want to be we can fall into disarray.”
You-I do not understand how to “fall into disarray” is possible when one is connected to the SELF that is ONEness itSELF —-
I: I was talking about the process of raising one's vibrations/ascension through spirituality. There comes a time, when we have advanced spiritually, by moving away from the “lower” energies; but at this point, ego is still active. We think we are growing as a separate being; and inherent in that is a little bit of I am more spiritual/better than I was earlier; or than others are. We are not yet in this stage, aware of connection to self; and of all being One Self, or of oneness. This is when, as many masters have taught; and as we have seen, really spiritual people can fall because of that strong link –not to One but to Separateness/ego.
But if at this stage, the heart expands, that SElf is experienced; and there is even nothing seen as spiritual /not-spiritual. Everything is just as it is, just as important as everything else. it is also something impossible to convey in words, as words are inherently dual. As I sometimes feel, it is not just the black letters we see, but the space between them as well.
I will send this comment as I read and respond to the other points in your post;; as it is thundering outdoors, and the internet connection may get lost. [a metaphor?!]
[Coming back!]
And I acknowledge what you have written about calling things as you see them. That is the authenticity which definitely requires courage, and I am working on!
Fortunately, I have found such wonderful groups and friends on Gaia, that the aspects that you don't like, are perhaps hidden from me. I do see that i sometimes have a different perspective and am constantly trying to expand into a space where I can see things that disturb me, in another light; because I feel that everything comes from a wholeness that I have decided to embrace….
I have to learn to live with disenchantment of others; and I see that as my greatest failing and therefore as my challenge. Thank you for showing that to me.